Can We Ever Do Too Much
For God?
Can we really
ever do too much? During the last three-and-a-half years that I have been
pursuing pulpit ministry while still employed in my primary vocation I have
struggled with time-management issues as a part-time local pastor. This situation is
further aggravated by my long commutes - almost 1000 miles a week during spring
and fall semesters. I managed to maintain both vocations until my primary job
required me to begin working an extra day a week. This could not have happened
at a worse time as I was in the middle of the fall semester, was preparing for
charge conference, and was committed to work on a Men's Walk to Emmaus.
Ironically,
I was enrolled in the Pastoral Care and
Spiritual Formation class that semester which had a component for self-care
of the pastor. The more I delved into the assigned reading the more I became
convinced that I was completely upside-down in my time available for self-care
and something in my life had to give. I left work and my churches behind on the weekend of
the Walk with the specific intent of discerning God's will for my situation in
those three days. This proved to be a flawed plan…
As with
every other aspect of my life, that weekend really wasn't about me - it was
about putting my best foot forward in service to others as a disciple of
Christ. But during breaks I was a solitary figure on the prayer trail outside
the conference room seeking the Lord's guidance for my issue.
I was also trying to maintain the schedule of assigned reading for my class. The
conventional wisdom I found in what I read proved to negate any effort to
discern God's will for my life and only served to heighten the anxiety about my
situation. I left the retreat center that weekend committed to leave pulpit
ministry in order afford some time to myself since I couldn't afford to quit my
secular job.
I met with
my district superintendent two weeks later and asked to be discontinued as a
pastor. She expressed remorse over my request and shared her call story. Then
she asked to hear mine and afterward suggested that I reconsider my request and
engage in prayer and fasting to truly discern God's will for my life. I took
her advice and now, six weeks later, find myself still burning the candle at
both ends while trying to cover all the bases with lots of miles in between.
But I have a sense peace amid the chaos of what my life might look like to
others (and oftentimes to myself!) and have found joy in the knowledge that God
has something better in store for me if I can just wait for His timing.
Can we really ever do too much? No; we can never out-give God with our time or our gifts. However, if that which consumes us is borne of a worldly, human agenda we are most certainly destined for burnout. All the conventional wisdom expounded in my required reading this semester applies to this scenario. But if we ascribe to the Divine agenda, apart from this world, we have no need to be concerned or wrought about any aspect of our life - God's got this (Matthew 6:24-34). Indeed, is there anything He doesn't have absolute power over?
